It’s been a while since I posted anything. Not wrote, posted. I sat at my computer and wrote a few times over the past few months but nothing seemed to be worth sharing. Why would anybody care about what I write? Who’s reading this? What’s the point? These are thoughts that plagued me before I even wrote my first blog post. Well I’ve finally come to an important conclusion. It doesn’t really matter who is reading this – the point, for me, is simply to write.
I love to write. I don’t think I’ve ever been particularly brilliant in any of it but I get a lot out of putting my words down. I ordered my first diary from the “book order” at school. How do I know this? Because I wrote about it in my first entry, on February 5th, 1992. Most kids get a diary or a journal, use it for a while and then lose interest. I’ve been writing in journals for 22 years.
I’ve joked before that my writing in journals is necessary because of my terrible memory but there’s truth to it. I love being able to go back in time and get a glimpse of what my life was like at any given moment. It’s also very therapeutic. A bad day feels slightly more bearable after I get it all down on paper. It’s also a great way to see the big picture. Something that made me really angry at one time in my life will likely seem a lot more trivial now.
The most interesting part is to see how my writing has evolved. The first couple of years consisted of one or two sentences very literally describing my day. On my eighth birthday, I simply listed all the gifts I received: Two trolls, Game Boy, 90210 shirt, colouring kit, 40 dollars, a sticker book and 2 packs of stickers, clothes. Fast forward 22 years and I’m reflecting on the state of my life. I went back and read the entries from almost a year ago when my dad got sick. As painful as they are to read, I appreciate my commitment to writing those feelings down at the most difficult time in my life, even though I’m not sure why.
So I guess there is a point to this, even though when I started writing today I thought it would just be a self-reflection. I’m reaching out to those who have a fear of writing or sharing their thoughts, especially in blog-form. Write on, friends! If you love to write, then do it. If you want to write only for yourself, then do it. If you want to share your feelings with those in Internet-land, feel free. No judgement here.